Faith vrs. Obedience

My mind has been an ocean swirling with many different thoughts and subjects. And I can just hear the guys saying "well duh, your a girl." That might be part of the reason but the other part is that there are just so many things to think about when it comes down to living your life completely sold out to GOD. There is so much involved. So much at stake. And so many things on death row.
But yet it is all so simple if the human doesn't get involved. If the human doesn't exert its need for control, or declare its non-existent rights as existent.
From all of this thinking I have come to a very obscure conclusion. [If that is possible] I believe faith and obedience are the two cornerstones of a life sold out for Christ. Without faith our works are dead [James 2:20,26] but yet without works, [obedience] faith doesn't exist. [James 2:18].
I was thinking about Esau the other day and mulling over why he couldn't receive the blessing, though he desperately sought after it with tears. I believe the reason was that he was not willing to obey GOD by repenting of his sin. He loved the pleasures of this world too much to sacrifice it to GOD. He wanted the blessing along with the sinful pleasures he desired. He wanted GOD & the World.
Repentance is the first step of obedience. And with obedience comes faith, and with faith comes the power of GOD, and the ability to live to glorify him. The strength to be the light on the hill. Jenna said a very powerful thing this morning at our Bible study. She said; "God cant work with half our heart....what if that one thing your holding back is that one thing GOD needs so that he can change your life?"
Thinking about that I saw this mental picture of arrival time at the throne of GOD. And he looks down at me and says; "Sarah, I had this huge plan and purpose for your life but you wouldn't give me that one area in your life, so I had to get someone else to do it instead of you."
How desperately sad. How absolutely horrifying. I think one of the things I am the most afraid of for myself is that I would miss the life changes GOD sends my way to prepare me for something greater. The little trials here and there or the those little area's he expects obedience. I do not want to sacrifice GOD's purpose for my life for some stupid measly little pleasure, attitude or 'right.' There is too much at stake in this fallen world for that. We complain the church isn't the way it is or that millions, let me rephrase that, billions of people will die without knowing Christ, and yet we forget that the reason is because we as individuals are not willing to sacrifice that one area and obey GOD.