TANGIBLE OR ETERNAL?

So I am kinda freaked out about posting this next post. (That sounded brilliant.....) I wrote it the other night and it is so different than anything I've posted before, and I am afraid that I'm going to come across different than who I really am. In fact I'm almost scared to post for fear that people will think me this super big giant of a Christian or something like that, instead of seeing me as just a simple lil redneck (ex-redneck that is) Idaho girl who still has a VERY long way to go. (Yes I like(d) big trucks.) :p Seriously though, just for the record, I blog about things that I am more often than not learning, (if I am learning that is) slowly but surely. I don't have the answers, and I don't necessarily do as I "preach" either. Anyhow, I'm a little nervous about this post because its very um..........close to my heart and yeah, anyhow if all of the sudden it disappears its because I had a heart attack and my heart refused to heal until I deleted it or something like that. JK
P.S. If your a guy and reading this.....please don't pay attention. I'm not writing to you, FYI. Mercy I'm starting to sound paranoid or something. Moving on................................................ 3/27/11

TANGIBLE OR ETERNAL?

3/26/11
 I don't write because I have all the answers or because my life is so out of this world perfect. In fact a lot of times (if not all the time) I write because I've messed up somewhere in my life, made bad decisions, made mistakes....I'm human. And so often I write because I don't want others to make the same mistakes I have. Goodness sakes that sounded like it came from an old  lady. :) Seriously though,  I  don't want anyone to think I am this super amazing Christian who has all the answers. The truth is I almost have zero, nada, answers. In fact the older I get the more I realise just how much I do not know. I talk to my friends about this subject and that subject and then realise I have know idea what the correct course of action is.
One of the last conversations like that was on the subject of.....drum roll....Guy/Girl Relationships...surprise, surprise!! And no I did NOT come up with some perfect 'do's and 'don'ts, but we'll get back to that later.
 My sister told me something she read out of a book just recently that a guy from a survey said he wanted in his future wife. It said something like this; "I want a girl who is so close to Jesus, and has a relationship so deep with Him, that I have to spend all eternity learning about her." (paraphrased by yours truly.) When I heard that I thought "Wow that sounds pretty good." but then I realised there was something wrong. I realised that that statement was actually causing me and possibly my dear sister, to lose focus on one very important "object" Jesus. All of the sudden I felt like I needed to become this supernatural Christian so that someday this supernatural guy will fall in love with me and we'll live happily ever after, instead of  focusing on the fact that Jesus is my supernatural "lover", He is who I need to strive to be holy for. It's not for my future spouse. For all I know, 'he' may not be Gods will for my life. Instead I must focus my very reason of existence on one person and that is Jesus.
That brings me back to the "Guy/Girl Relationship topic.
 I am very nervous, I guess you can say, in playing in this field. I believe this subject is like walking a tight 'rope'  created by hot wires. As long as you don't touch the ground or anything wet you'll live, but once you do you'll get burnt. Burnt to a crisp. 
Well I think that if our focus is to bring glory to Jesus Christ and that is how we live each moment of our lives, in how we make our decisions, how we treat others, it will be much harder to mess up in our relationships, whether it's with friends or family. And trust me I'm not writing this out of accomplishment, I'm writing it out of experience being learned. 
If Jesus is the centre of my life, if He is the reason I act this way or that way, I believe I will be who I need to be and I will stop worrying about how I appear to this person or that person. Girls we need to stop looking at the guys and seeing potential spouses. We need to start looking at Jesus Christ as our eternal partner, friend and lover. It's not a matter of who we'll marry or when we'll marry. It's a matter of, "do I Sarah Jane Foster, qualify for my most important marriage feast? That is what must become the most important thing in my heart, my mind and my soul. 

Love GOD?

"Jesus said to him; "You shall love the LORD your GOD with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind." Matt. 22:27

The last week or so the idea of true Christianity being summed up in one 'rule', of giving your ENTIRE life over to GOD regardless of the cost, has been running through my mind and heart....conviction me and showing me that just because I give GOD some things doesn't mean I live a surrendered life. In fact as of now I'll be the first to say I don't at this point in my journey. And so often I try to complicate 'surrender', and try to make it something I need a masters degree in before I can master it. But yet it is just simple obedience. Loving God will ALL my heart, soul and mind. Not just a little, but ALL. Its such a scary place to be because I there will be many things I'll have to do, and many things I'll have to give up. But how much more did He love me? He was willing to give EVERYTHING for  me. and no, it wasn't just the basics in life he asks from us, it was HIS very Life, and all I had to offer in return is my retched sin. That is what love is about. If HE can love me that much, how much more can I love HIM then I do right now?